To The Mom I Judged — I Don’t Know Your Story
To the mom I judged for losing her temper — I don’t know your story. I don’t know your struggle. I don’t know your angst.
To the mom who I judged for yelling — I don’t know the details. I don’t know the day you had. I don’t know your child. And I don’t know your story.
As mothers, we ALL lose our cool. We ALL have our moments. We ALL have our stressors.
Some of us seem super organized on the outside — but we’re actually a hot mess on the inside. Some of us seem like we know exactly what to do — but we’re actually lost in a maze of worry.
None of us know how to ‘do it right.’ Most of us just wing it. But the truth is that many of us moms feel like total failures at any given moment — even when we’re really the most phenomenal moms ever.
It’s easy to judge another mom who loses her temper right in front of you and yells at her child in a public space. That’s easy.
But it’s much harder to have compassion for her.
We may sometimes think that a parent we’re judging is a total jerk. But one day that parent could be you.
We don’t always know the behavioral issues a particular parent potentially deals with on a daily basis. We don’t always know how much patience they’ve already shown up with that day and lost. We don’t always know the whole story.
To the mom who I judged for always showing up late — I don’t know your story.
Maybe you’re late because you’re trying to be in multiple places at the same time. Maybe one of your children had a massive meltdown. Maybe you lost track of time. Maybe you’re overscheduled. Maybe you’re just damn tired.
But you’re still showing up — late or not — and it’s not my place to judge you. It’s not my place to think I know.
Because I don’t know.
It’s so easy for us moms to judge one another — to look down on one another. Saying we support one another and actually doing that without judgment are two different things.
I struggle with it. We all do.
But we all have our own problems, our own challenges. We’re all coming from varying backgrounds with different parenting ideas, values, and experiences.
To the mom I judged — I don’t know your story. I don’t know your life.
We’re all doing what we can with what we’ve got out here. There’s enough judgment on parents to go around already. And we are all trying our best in our own ways.
I am. You are. WE are.
More from Michelle: To The Mom Who Gets up Way Earlier Than She Needs to